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I Am A Kinderwhore

It's not deprivation, it's liberation

15 October 1986
1. Age: 20

2. Height: 5'9

3. Current Weight (CW): 134

4. Highest Weight (HW): 160

5. Lowest Weight (LW): 105, when i had mono 2 years ago

6. Goal Weight (GW): 120

7. Gender: female

8. BMI: afraid to know

9. What ED do you have? anorexia and now more recently severe bulemia.shit

10. Self diagnosed or diagnosed by a doctor? by a doctor

11. History of your ED: (you may write several paragraphs if you like): ive always been athletic and a normal size and never ever worried about what i ate. even when i got mono in 2004 i lost so much weight and hated it and gained it all back easily. but because of my mono i was longer able to do sports at a high level at first. so i decided to end my running because i was not in shape enough and i began partying and lived on my own and never ever workout. well i got up to 160 by march of last year and i just broke down, i became so overwhelmed with saddness because i felt huge and i was and even my dad said i was. so i began fasting, binging and purging a lot all through summer and into the school year. i took up running again but wasnt very good because of the toll mono took on my body.two other girls had anorexia on the team and i learned from them. mid december during the winter break i shut myself off from everyone and worked out twice a day with my track coach and severly underate. i never went out, i just slpet all day except when i was running. i was able to go from 150 pounds to 130 by earlier this month.but im still very unhappy with my weight. i know im still pretty fat so ive decided to get serious. okay sooo that was a while ago. im now back after moving from just not eating too much and purging once and a while to binging and purging 2-3 times a day and gaining 10 pounds. im so huge and decided to come back here for support and help.

12. (optional) A typical day for me: wake up go to school.come home from school.work out.homework. sleep.

13. What are you looking for?(Support for recovery? Tips? Friends? Etc.): people that accept that i am like this and will support me. also tips on how to resist food.

In Depth

How many calories do you eat in a day, on average?:

Do you throw up your food on occasion?:
if i eat way too much

Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress?:

Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, ie soccer or track?:
used to do both, now i just workout myself all the time

Has anyone ever teased you about your weight?:
oh yes

Have you ever fasted? If so, for how long?:
i think 3 was my longest. im starting another 3 day one tomorrow

Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories?:
if i bindge

Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses?:

Have you ever been hospitalised for your ED?:

Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting?:
unduced when i over ate

Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder?:
im in therapy but only because i have no choice and am forced to go

Body Image Q's

Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not?:
yes, because i am fat

What part of your body would you change?:
thighs and stomach

On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your body?:

Because of your body apperance/weight, have you become severely depressed?:
im on medication for it. its pretty bad

Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses?:


Do you think you eat healthy enough?:
oh yes

Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs?:
not really. i know ill use them all up in my workout. im in a nutrition class so i know whats good or bad

Fat grams?:


Are you often tired/fatigued?:

Do you feel more energised after eating food?:

Do you eat meat?:
if i binge

Do you eat your food in a certain way? ie cut it up into small pieces, etc.:
cut it into very small pieces

Do people tell you you look sick or famished?:

Have you ever thrown up blood?:

Is your heart bpm above 49?:
no idea

Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating?:
yes. it means its working.
8 mile runs., absolutely random nights., glacier freeze gatorade., lemonlime powerade., libraries., lifetime original movies., longboarding., minature golf., music., old town sacramento., pythons., reading., robarnieanddawn., rockstars., strawberry lemonade., thrift stores.